Tag: My Dead Language

Suddenly, I’ve dropped to my knees

Crouching and waiting

For a long time

So I build

On every ounce of growing worry

And every pound of diminishing wealth

Truth is, I’m devilishly clever

Most will never know my greed

I cross boundaries

Even when my hands are tied

And my hair is wet

I’ve learned to come into my own these days

Even when life is unfaithful

I continually wander

Like any other I still crash and burn

Again and Again

Even at my lowest, I still discover things

Mysteriously, I creep and crawl

Deliriously I stumble and fall

I regain, I still recover

I find a joy in me

Uncharted it’s been deserted and unfound

My heart rejoicing

Even in the un-devoted and unsound

By Jennifer Barajas

Shall sweet spite find its vitality in me?

It seems there is never a moment

That isn’t diminished by a kind of anguish

Until I come upon him

Still, it will be a great distance to find him

To unearth his center

His middle, where he comes together

Where I find him browsing through my thoughts

Stumbling upon instances of joy

In its moments of purity

Even his slightest touch

Will make me human again

And not concerned at all

With the over blossomed life of sorrow

Not troubled at all with what

Does not admire the sweet spring

Something peaceful as eternity and

Faithful as the sky among unknown clouds.

Familiar and absolute.

There could be a destiny for us.

If it wasn’t for uncertainty.

If it wasn’t for a broken shame.

That whispers and then begs your name.

I thought I could keep us beating.

I, alone.

Alone I do not work.

So greatness has been lost.

Then again anything worth loving is worth losing.

Because you never really lose it.

So maybe it’s all worthwhile.

By: Jennifer Barajas

Oh what could be and what has been

In streams of noiseless worry,

You derive pleasure from earthly things.

Encapsulated in fervor,

Far from the sort of madness

That makes foolish men grow.

How well you resist temptation,

How easily you say no.

 

Only God could release your burdens

And the memories that weigh heavily

On your sense of self worth

Frequently you beg to differ

The questions I put at arm’s length

You have no answers to give,

In short you lack the strength

To be my one and only

True and everything.

By Jennifer Barajas

A day away from the beginning of my life,

Which has not been fully lived.

A day away from my happiest moment,

Or maybe my proudest year.

A day away from the love I never met

And never truly had.

A day away from your sweet kiss

Maybe from my own eternal bliss

A day away from a future still untold.

But my head has gone foolish

And my heart- gone cold.

By Jennifer Barajas

I have lost you so suddenly

I need to catch my breath

For a moment, you were all.

There was never a dull moment,

In that strength I’ll call love.

There was always a way in

You made your own way out.

The smallest thread could pull me apart

And I am unraveling in your arms.

Little but you.

Softly but you.

But you, but you.

So here I go,

Only a few steps astray,

From the love I’ve lost

And the life you gave away.

By Jennifer Barajas

When you finally see

 I will have already passed through

And it will be too late

Yes, too late for you

 

I am old enough now yet still too young

To persist on loving you

In hopes you will stand beside me and watch

Love blossoming.

 

In beautiful people

In delicate remembrance

Of past heartaches and love lost

But refusing still, to desert what is rightfully yours.

 

I understand this is really one of God’s gifts,

One gift worthy of enjoyment.

Maybe it’s my youth

My optimism

My willingness to live by the sanctity of pure selflessness

And it is love that resides where you refuse to go

So you will never quite understand

Or even truly know

By Jennifer Barajas

Did you know that I always knew

And by always I mean as long as I’ve loved you

More words that even dwindling time could ever express

And the simplicity of it all is quite overwhelming

I’m forced into shadows

Lost in troubled darkness

Content on realizing

That there is a someone

To whom I would never be one

Not that I go unnoticed

Just unmade

It’s the inevitable part of living

That draws you towards

Only what you know

And not what you love

Little by little

Your awareness is becoming unreal

A blessing is a blessing

Even if disguised as wonder

So maybe I arrived too late

What now, how about fate

Our melting, our joining together

It is not yet, a life unlived

It was us

You and I

Being love despite the world

Despite misguided eyes

So now my hope reforms

Not my heart

My hope

The hope that waited for you in dark corners

In places you dared not roam

SO here I am still living

Living, almost laughing with disdain

At the fools we’ve become

And the love we failed to gain

By Jennifer Barajas