Celebrate poetry and other writing
We’ve never truly been
Because you’ve never
Truly given up everything
And now, time is up
And you can not surrender
Yourself to God’s good deeds.
You questioned
You paused
Now you are left out.
There isn’t a single word that I have not uttered
That still exists deep down.
For me, it’s all been spoken.
You’ll be left to mutter your own musings
And wish for a life you already had
I will give my own self to an existence
That deserves my faith.
JBW
A simple word is all that encompasses you
Beauty
In its most gracious and humblest of forms
You soar
Above the crowd in such a listless fashion
You’ve taken the truth from my lips
And wrapped them
Around your every motion
I’m in love with your selflessness and devotion
So still, I pray
And hope
And pray again
You may accuse me
I will no longer deny
This life I’ve lived
Is nothing short of a lie
-JBW
Every now and again, I revisit my old poetry. You know, those poems that had meaning and good bones but didn’t quite fit. Here is a new attempt with some old friends:
Far beyond any possibility of the day believing in me
I am too close to dawn breaking for a new beginning
I’ll be better later
I’ll know more tomorrow.
Then, I think I’ll be whole.
I’ve found so many pieces of myself
In improbable places
Mysterious faces
Mother and Father, though I never knew them by name.
They were never hero, or friend, or even foe
They were fallible.
I cannot be at peace with so many pieces.
Some parts of me are whole-
Other parts are sewn together
It’s as noticeable as black thread on white cloth
Hidden in a soul I can’t quite remember
It is also commendable
Unforgettable
Wrapping myself up with whispered fury
Muttering past remembrances.
Days can lean on me
Just like nights deceived me
Will it all come together,
Or will it break again at dawn
Jennifer Barajas
I think you did the best you could
You did a lot of things right
And what you got wrong-
Well that’s just an everyday thing
Words, actions, moments in time
They make up a living
They can breathe life and bury a soul
Maybe I came out already defeated
I’ve traveled far and wide – just within the distance of my own mind
Looking for answers
Searching
Maybe I should have looked for questions
You had none to give
The ones you did weren’t the ones you believed
And not what you lived
I could start over and over again
And never have enough time to finish
But still you did the best you could
And so this is the best that I am
JBW
This horrible, beautiful, wretched, wonderful world.
It kills and betrays and breathes new life every day.
It breaks and it is broken.
It burns to the ground, ashes on a wayward shore.
Yet it builds and re-builds and strengthens the weak.
It fortifies and restores vitality to any abandoned soul.
It destroys.
It plays shallow games.
And I am not immune.
I have just been lucky.
If you call living lucky.
Some might.
Some aren’t even living.
Maybe I am lucky.
If you call drowning swimming
This awful, terrible, inspiring world.
It’s great and terrible.
Warm and cold.
It makes no sense but it tells no lies.
It lives on. Even when we fade.
We are just imprints.
We improve and destroy it all at once.
This world.
It is pitiful and glorious all in the same breath.
With just a whisper it will hold you tight or tear you to shreds.
-JBW
You seem to promise from afar
From atop a mountain
And if I knew the promise of living
I would be braver than you
Yet there is something about
Your forgetful motions
Your flushed cheeks unique
And the world is happening all around us
Still I seem to waste
Threshold after golden threshold
First embrace after timid disgrace
A victory, a game
Still you advance me
You keep me dry
Somehow you keep me on your time
In your space
Just something for the unbearable
Loneliness to replace
If love be you
Then beat my heart
Gently now
If it be vain
Let it be vain
Vanity is nothing
I’ve been undone
I’ve wept loss
I do not seek you in spring
Or simply when you bloom
I stay till the fall
The autumn rain
You may call me infrequent
You can even call me unaware
Because you have made me breathless
Your presence has purpose
If I love- I love for you.
No need for words spoken
A life unimagined
And things re-done
-JBW
I want to give this life away
To someone who deserves it
Someone that just might
Cherish every day
Not me
I squander
I’ve never been
One to wander
I stay put
Nothing changes
I’d die just for
Something to change
Life is wasted on the living
I am a dream untold
A journey unfinished
I am not left to complete
Even if I were
I am not up to the feat
The task, the chore
So I’m ready to give away
What to others just may be
A better, more memorable day.
-JBW
I am reserved for the man Running through my dreams
Showering me with kisses
Loving that part of me that beams
Lately, I’ve given you away over and over
His laughing, only a bit distracting
What time of day
Will it be when you are aware
Of the damaged you’ve caused
Or the silence you bear
So what’s beside you weary winter rain
Showering you, devouring me
Riding to earth from the heavens
Yet not in my dreams
Have I glimpsed a sight
Not looking to fall apart at the seams.
-JBW
Wealth
Beyond my wildest despair
My daydreams
My waking nights
Are rolled into one
To be cherished
To be free again of virtue
My one lasting wish
That dies slowly each night
Undoubtedly you fall
Tenderly, as each star enfolds
Around you
Before you
While I watch
Sometimes I begin to pray
Hoping, awaiting
No words left to utter
No promises left to say
-Jennifer Barajas
Even loving
Beyond all reason
Will have its own time to spare.
So if this is my virtue
If I somehow know how to keep
There is no need to worry these nights
Where I still find
Listlessness in sleep
I’ve learned- not born to be careless
Every gesture
Cautiously prepared
Still I meet with anxiety
As if I still owed
Some tremendous debt
To its awkward diligence
And its prosperous fate
-Jennifer Barajas
A Dead Language 