A Dead Language

When you finally see

 I will have already passed through

And it will be too late

Yes, too late for you

 

I am old enough now yet still too young

To persist on loving you

In hopes you will stand beside me and watch

Love blossoming.

 

In beautiful people

In delicate remembrance

Of past heartaches and love lost

But refusing still, to desert what is rightfully yours.

 

I understand this is really one of God’s gifts,

One gift worthy of enjoyment.

Maybe it’s my youth

My optimism

My willingness to live by the sanctity of pure selflessness

And it is love that resides where you refuse to go

So you will never quite understand

Or even truly know

By Jennifer Barajas

Did you know that I always knew

And by always I mean as long as I’ve loved you

More words that even dwindling time could ever express

And the simplicity of it all is quite overwhelming

I’m forced into shadows

Lost in troubled darkness

Content on realizing

That there is a someone

To whom I would never be one

Not that I go unnoticed

Just unmade

It’s the inevitable part of living

That draws you towards

Only what you know

And not what you love

Little by little

Your awareness is becoming unreal

A blessing is a blessing

Even if disguised as wonder

So maybe I arrived too late

What now, how about fate

Our melting, our joining together

It is not yet, a life unlived

It was us

You and I

Being love despite the world

Despite misguided eyes

So now my hope reforms

Not my heart

My hope

The hope that waited for you in dark corners

In places you dared not roam

SO here I am still living

Living, almost laughing with disdain

At the fools we’ve become

And the love we failed to gain

By Jennifer Barajas

Deeply

I’m subdued

So fondly

I pursue

You

Forbidden

Kept in all I can swear upon

Upon my carefully emphasized charm

I keep for you

I dream altogether

After all, isn’t giving

A part of forgiveness

Yet you fainted under the purest image

I thought was you

Yes, it’s true.

You have ended

Faltering under my unfortunate gaze

I stand back disappointed and amazed

By Jennifer Barajas

It seemed so striking

Your face brighter than beyond the sun

I shudder to think

How easily you slipped past me

Silent eyes spread forth

And you’re not there

Not ever altogether

Your unconscious want

So impatient yet

So ready to soothe the world

Your arms a haven

A place to rest my head and

Spend some time in leisure

The chair you sat in

The bed where you lay

A place to repose

And forget the overwhelming noise

Of an uncaring day

Now you break apart

Hollow in a meaningless

Loveliness

A new sort of silence

For me to respect at a safe distance

It’s your sentiment

That makes you whole

But still enraged and

Climbing towards

A piece of nothing

That never did exist

If existence is you

Then wait patiently

There will be a day

When fate will come

To lead you from despair

Outside of judgment

Withdrawn from overwhelming contemplation

So for now I kiss you and your fear

Because right know my loneliness

Is loud enough to hear.

I celebrate you

Whether at my side

Or in my dreams

Even at a distance

You are still glory in its youth

Tender, even anxious despite your strength

You’ve caught me

Caught me when I didn’t realize

I was running

When I was too worried

To open my eyes

And vengeance roamed in me

Now I’m caught

Between your smile and your soul

Somewhere in between

I find myself

Once again whole.